Parenting time is the amount of time each parent spends with their children when parents separate. Disagreements about how to measure it and how to divide it often cause controversy between the parents. Parenting time, previously called “visitation,” is fluid and varies on a case-by-case basis. For couples with children, settling parenting time is a critical portion of the divorce process. Our guide will tell you everything you need to know about parenting time and how to make the most of your time with your children.
How is Parenting Time Measured?
Parenting time is measured in the number of overnights spent with the noncustodial parent throughout the calendar year. For example, a 50/50 parenting plan means that one parent has 183 overnights while the other parent has 182 overnights. If one parent has their children on weekends from Friday evening to Sunday evening, then that’s two overnights a week for 52 weeks. Over the course of a year, that would be 104 overnights.
What Factors Determine Parenting Time?
There are 9 factors the courts use to determine parenting time, including:
1. Parents’ wishes
2. Children’s wishes
3. Relationships between the child and the parents
4. Children’s potential adjustment to a new home, school, and/or neighborhood
5. Mental and physical health of the parents
6. Ability for both parties to share love and affection with the children
7. Past patterns of involvement
8. Physical proximity of the parents
9. Capacity to place the children’s needs above their own
You have varying degrees of control of each factor, so we will focus on each factor, including the factors you can control and clearly communicate in your divorce decree.
Parents’ wishes
Custody and parenting time are ultimately about the wellbeing of your child. So, although you want to spend the most time you possibly can with your child, you have to be honest with yourself and specific with others about your expectations. If you’re confident with your abilities as a primary caregiver, then you should consider requesting more weekday parenting time. If you feel uneasy about handling some of the responsibilities alone, opt for parenting time when you’ll be more available to the children.
Child’s wishes
This factor has varying degrees of weight depending heavily on the age of the child involved. The courts are more likely to consider the wishes of older children and teenagers than younger children. For example, a 5-year-old can’t be expected to make their own parenting decisions, while a 16-year-old will have feelings and wishes that can be expressed and considered far more easily.
Relationships between the child and the parents
Every parent likes to think they’re a great parent, but no two families are the same. It’s important to consider the relationships between your child, your spouse, their siblings, and any grandparents that might be in the picture. The reliance a child has on one parent over another is also considered. For example, if your child has special needs that require intensive care or you’re the parent of an infant, it’s likely that primary caregiver will be awarded custody and parenting time may be reduced to avoid interfering with the stability infants and special-needs children need.
Child’s potential adjustment to new home, school, and/or neighborhood
During a divorce, one spouse will frequently make the decision to move into a separate home. With a new home comes a new school and neighborhood to which your children must grow accustomed. Divorce can be a difficult time for the children as they try to adjust to new parenting styles and schedules. If you can minimize the amount of change they face, the courts may see fit to grant you more parenting time.
The parents’ mental and physical health
This is one factor that you can certainly be proactive about. If you have a history of health problems, you should address them before planning the parenting time with your spouse. Simply having a history of problems with mental or physical health should not prevent you from getting the parenting time you want with your children. However, if you have struggled with depression in the past, be prepared to show your ability to address it, including consistent, reliable medication or therapy. The same goes for any physical health problems you have experienced. Your attorney can help you determine what other documentation is required regarding your health.
Ability for both parties to share love and affection with the child
“Share” is the operative word here. Remember that you’re to develop the best parenting plan possible for your children. No one doubts the love you have for your child, but examples of your ability to show your children how much you care about them will help the court to address this factor. Think of concrete examples and make a list or provide evidence to support your case.
Past patterns of involvement
Another area where you can easily show concrete evidence of your parenting skills is by documenting your past involvement with your children. The more involved you have been over the years, the more likely a judge will give you more parenting time. You can develop a list of ways that you are involved in your child’s life and be as specific as possible. Outline what you do to help make your kid’s life better by being involved in it.
Physical proximity of the parents
Keeping things close to your child’s “home base” makes the transition easier for them. However, we know that life happens and sometimes a move is necessary, whether it’s for financial, work-related, or other reasons. When this happens, it can affect your parenting time.
The further away you move, the more it can impact your parenting schedule. For example, the court could recommend against splitting the week evenly since it would place additional stress on both the parents and children. If you must move to another state, then a parenting plan that focuses on their visitation during summer and winter break might be easier for all parties involved.
Ability to place the children’s needs above their own
Most parents make sacrifices for their children’s happiness and well-being. However, just because you do not regret your sacrifices doesn’t mean you can’t acknowledge your efforts, especially when you are determining parenting time. If you’re able to make sacrifices and put your child’s needs above your own, the courts should hear about that, in your testimony and in writing. Tell the courts what you’ve sacrificed to ensure your child grows up happy and healthy.
In Conclusion
While your marriage may have ended, you and your former spouse will be forever linked through your children. Having an honest and well-planned parenting time schedule from the outset of the divorce proceedings will help establish a level of routine and stability in your children’s lives.
However, this custody arrangement and your parenting time are not set in stone. If, at some point in the future, you find that you would like more parenting time and are willing to make the necessary adjustments to do so, you can change the agreement made with your ex-spouse. The key is to ensure each revised plan is clear and in writing with both parties’ written approval of the agreement.
Rieger LLP has seasoned attorneys that can help you make sure you are finding solutions that best serve your children going forward. If you have additional questions or would like a free consultation with one of our family law attorneys, please call (516) 280-8880.